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Chuck Norris in India

Chuck Norris in India?Naw – just kidding. He’s not really coming to Mumbai. I really don’t keep up on the Chuckster’s schedule much these days, but apparently some of my students do. They were pretty happy to tell me a bit about him, and I admit it was pretty funny. Every so often I have to revert to middle school mentality. Teaching 11-14 year olds all day does take it’s toll!

Apparently one of the internet boats I’ve been missing lately is the popularity of Chuck Norris facts. Yes, yes, I heard all about how he supported Huckabee, and how that helped the politician out, etc, etc. But Chuck has also a large fan club across the blogosphere and in the armed forces, where he is venerated as the perfect he-man of our time.

I’ve always been partial to Schwarzenegger myself. I mean the Terminator, Commando, and Predator flicks were what was out when I was a kid. Norris was always a second rate bounty hunter type Vietnam dude. I mean – Invasion USA? Come on, who cares if the South gets invaded?! Let ’em keep it (I was going to insert a link to one of my favorite internet sites about the south, but since it is not a kid-friendly link, I decided not to. You might speculate what the three word title of the site is. You might even guess right. But you’ll have to type them in (or google) them yourself).

In any case, thanks to the multitude of Chuck Norris facts and fan sites out there, I present my personal favorite facts about Chuck that you just might not have known:

  1. If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Chuck Norris.
  1. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
  1. Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know – except for the definition of mercy.
  1. Chuck Norris put the fun in funeral and the laughter in manslaughter.
  1. Most people know that Descarte said, “I think, therefore I am.” What most people don’t know is that that quote continues, “…afraid of Chuck Norris.”
  1. Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
  1. He who laughs last, laughs best. But he who laughs at Chuck Norris … dies.
  1. Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
  1. Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
  1. Chuck Norris was what Willis was talkin’ about.

See a few more favorites here, or just look ’em up yourself

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