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Free Verse Friday – Ode to the varieties of Indian stomach ailments

I have been neglectful in Free Verse Friday lately, so in honor of this week’s Caf-ASB, here is my ode to various regional stomach ailments:

Here in Mumbai, we sometimes get food sick
From restaurant, kitchen, or picnic.
The belly distends
Kicks out waste from both ends
Accompanied by internal music.

This year’s not been really all too rough
We’ve only had one round of that stuff
But with watery stomachs
And quivery buttocks
I swear once is more than enough.

The first hint is often quite bitter
A bubbling that shouts out “Don’t fritter!
You’ve no time to wait
You’d better go straight
And plop yourself down on the… toilet!”

But one thing we’ve noticed in three years
Is a pattern that constantly reappears:
The BMs reflect
The vacations they’ve wrecked
Like a matched set of runny brown souvenirs.

Our first trip, in a hotel so smelly
Alea’s tummy got sick from some jelly
In India’s heart
Ruined trip from the start:
An authentic case of real Delhi Belly.

The second time, as you will soon see-a
Was based on the self same idea
Poor Breck took the throne
In our very own home:
Struck down by Mubaiarrhea.

Dave’s ill was not like his daughter’s
But still was a set of the trotters.
Eating Cochinese shrimp
On his trip, put a crimp:
He sailed down the Kerala Backwaters.

Our last trip involved the ole poop pots
When we went to see Indian hot spots
In the desert a-cruisin’
The ailment caught Susan
And she got the Jodhpur Camel Trots

We’ve suffered on hikes, boats, and car rides
Strange stuff coming out of our backsides:
From Goan Groanin’ sick
To Jaipur Diaper ick
To colossal Himalayan Mudslides.

Pondicherry Derri-airy, Bangalore Blasts
Hyderabad Hot Squirts, Taj Mahal Gas
The Rajasthan Runs
Of course, Mysore Bum
The Calcutta Quick Step and Amritsar Ass.

Now, don’t think our stories pure unkind
We’ve usually had a real good time.
We remember our trips
Not by what we take with
Butt rather, what we’ve left behind!

Free verse Friday – Shaving in the Street

Just a look at a roadside barber shop today:

Men all have beards that grow each day
so they should shave them off, you see.
Since no water’s where most Indians stay
This barber looks out for you and me.

He sets up shop in the local streets
next to the tea and rickshaw stands
and using what he can find for seats
He goes to work with his two hands.

A bucket of water, lathered suds,
a brand new straight-edge blade
are all he needs to serve his buds
and ensure his income’s made.

A shave, hair cut, and head massage too
Check look in mirror hanging down.
Amazing what the locals can do
In this topsy-turvy town!

This isn’t the place that I go – I just took the picture from our school bus one day. Next time I go to get a haircut, though, I will bring that camera and document that adventure. Have a great weekend!

Free verse Friday – Monkey Attack!

Based on a true story from our Bali trip:

We went to feed monkeys in Bali
Like all of the white tourists do
No problem, we thought
Since we had just bought
Bananas – their favorite food

We fed them and had such a good time
Took pictures with chimps on our head
They were oh-so-cute
Just point-and-shoot
Nothing more needs to be said.

But then Dave went and upset a mean momma
She jumped him and took a strong stand
He’s now worried ’bout rabies:
When he played with her babies
She ripped a deep cut on his hand

She jumped, grabbed, and swiped with her long nail
Tearing a gash down to the bone
The blood squirted out
Amid a loud monkey shout
And with her babe in her arms she was gone

Lucky a doctor was real near
Who cleaned out and stitched up the cut
To stop new infection
Dave got an injection:
A tetanus shot right in the butt.

So finger wrapped, swollen and aching
He was glad to be out in the clear
The rest of the break
Special treatment he’d take
Internal meds: cold beer!

Free verse Friday – Take your child to snow day

Alea on Winter Day
There is no snow in Bombay
I know this much is true
But for spirit week, which is this week
Alea’s clothes had wintry hue.

All dressed in icicle-y silver and blue
With Santa’s elves on her ears
Wrapped in a scarf of fine white mesh
She’s pretty beyond her years.

Breck "Take your child to work" DayAnd speaking today of growing up
Breck shadowed dad and mom
As grade 5’s “Take your child to work day”
At long last was finally on.

He got to see mom teaching,
Little faces bright with glee
But since dad had no classes then
We just went and got coffee.

So much fun, on a warm Friday
Before a big weekend –
The play tonight, the fair next morn
Welcome to the festive season!

Free verse Friday – Rats on the Rooftop

Our first Christmas-themed poem of the season, relating to events from last weekend:

Up on the rooftop, barbecuers pause
Sounds like the clitter clat of little paws
Skitter cross the guard rail with lots of noise
Little ones shriek, both girls and boys

Ho ho ho, who wouldn’t go? Ho ho ho, who wouldn’t go?
Up on the rooftop, pit-ter pat
Down through the drainpipe with a great big rat

Dead rat in the road (not on the rooftop)We’d always thought that being ‘up’ in a building would protect us from rodential infestations, but apparently not. A group of us saw a rat running around up there while we were cooking dinner – hence the inspiration for this week’s rhyme!

And just for reference, here’s one that was outside our building the other day. Maybe this is what happens is a rat loses his grip and falls…

Free verse Friday – Oktoberfest ’09

Photo by Martin Reinsmoen

Photo by Martin Reinsmoen

With apologies to Nat King Cole and other singers of “O Tannenbaum”

Oktoberfest, Oktoberfest
It’s fast approaching this way
Oktoberfest, Oktoberfest
A time for all to come play

Good times do always there abound:
Beer, schnitzel, brats, and oompah sounds

Oktoberfest, Oktoberfest
Come eat and drink on Saturday

Oktoberfest, Oktoberfest
I’ll have my little hat on
Oktoberfest, Oktoberfest
I’ll wear fake lederhosen

Though German pictures all will show,
Alas, few women here have dirndls

Oktoberfest, Oktoberfest
Despite our clothes we’ll have fun.

Oktoberfest, Oktoberfest
This year we’ve got kazoos
Oktoberfest, Oktoberfest
We’ll have the hookah too

On Kiara’s vast rooftop expanse
We’ll drink and do the chicken dance

Oktoberfest, Oktoberfest
I hope we don’t get rained out

Free verse Friday – Happy Birthday, Gandhi!

So we’ll give free verse Friday another shot: no promises on how consistent I’ll be, but since we have a day off from work I’ll take advantage of it!

Gandhi WallHappy Birthday, Gandhi
I’d never heard the date
But over here in Bombay
There’s no school and that’s great.
..
We’ll go see famous buildings
And sightsee all around
And take our full advantage
Of a day out on the town.
..
Your face is on the money
And painted on our wall
Gandhi MoneyYou pushed the British out of here
And helped their reign to fall.
..
The only thing that bothers me
Is that no beer is sold
Because you were an abstainer
The wine shops all are closed.
..
So happy birthday Gandhi
From all of us to you
And now we’ll all remember
The date: October two!

Free verse Friday – Last day of school

Alea and Breck on the last day of schoolThe books are all stacked
The laptops all packed
The posters are down from the walls
The lockers unlocked
The grad balloons popped
No kids running round through the halls

Goodbyes have been said
And tears have been shed
With hugs hard enough to heart ache
The yearbooks are signed
Money in for book fines
As people depart for the break

We’ll head out from Mumbai
To homes far and wide
Keep in touch with Facebook emails
Some’ll be back in the fall
Some – never at all
So til next time we meet: happy trails!

The last day of school also marks the start of the blog’s summer hiatus. We are flying out for the USA tomorrow, ready to spend the vacation meeting with family, hanging at the cabin, and (probably) buying a townhome. Since our internet connection will be spotty at best, don’t expect a whole lot of updates until August.

Have a great summer!!

Free verse Friday – Math awards poem

We had our subject area awards ceremony this week, and I presented the math department awards. While the entire event started off with a very somber intonation in praise of the importance of academics, I just couldn’t keep everything in that serious a mode.

My speech was well received, getting some good chuckles and even a round of applause from the parents. I’ve had a few students, parents, and even the superintendent ask for a copy of the speech. Math dork that I am, I have transcribed it into a poem. Not a perfect rhymer, but close enough to the spirit for the last full Friday of the school year:

Good afternoon. To more fully explain the thoughts going into the choice of students, I’ll have to rely on using some difficult mathematical terms, if you all can bear with me.

While math award choices were tougher than pi
The teachers’ opinions had no great divide.

With no subtraction at all from achievements of others,
the absolute value of the winners discovered:

  • Constants in class – high above the mean grade
  • Factors in positive growth every day
  • Multiplied the learning of large fractions of others
  • And square rooted in math fundamentals we covered.

Many variables were considered, but the greatest common factor
of the recognized students is really quite rational:
the integral role that hard work has played
in beating the curve, and getting good grades.

(and if interested, the actual speech given is here.)

(and if interested, my take on this same award last year is in this post)

Free verse Friday – Falcon out my window

Falcon Out My Window(with apologies to John Denver)

Falcon out my window makes me happy
Falcon wakes me up with his shrill cry
Falcon eating dead rats looks so messy
Falcon almost always soars so high

If I had some food that I could give to you
I’d give to you a taste of fresh-killed prey
Maybe then you’d make a nest out here
And sing a song to keep those crows away

Yes, I know they are technically called “kites,” but I simply don’t associate that word with big, killer birds of prey.

We have a couple (whether they are male and female, we don’t know) who have taken up shop on our building and the one across the road (in the background of this photo). We hear their screeching cries to each other, but luckily they are pretty daytime-limited, so it isn’t like they wake us up at night or in the morning. This big guy (or gal) was sitting right outside our hallway window last Sunday, very patiently letting me take a few pictures before flying away.

We are still waiting for them to start a nest and hatch some babies over by us – that would be way cooler than pigeons!

Free verse Friday – Sixth grade band concert

Alea on the saxaphoneTrombones toot two tuneful tones
The flute’s fine fifer’s fair
A clarinet’s call cools all crowds
Drums ding dong debonair.

With ogling oboe ooh la la’s
And trembling tuba toots,
Pianos pick a plaintive piece
While silk-like smooth sax scoots.

Our Alea has made such strides
Her band was great Wednesday!
We’re proud of her, and hope she’ll let
Her old man with her play (someday?)

Free verse Friday – Volleyball Tournament

Spectacular play
Punishing rallies
Intense concentration required
Killer instincts
Extra teamwork
I‘m already worn out and beat up and tired!
Today’s the start of our tournament – great times ahead this weekend…

Free verse Friday – the fish in Colaba song

(with apologies to Rupert Holmes)

I was tired of my old city
We’d been together too long
Like a worn out recording
Of a favorite song
So one day during prep time
I surfed the internet instead
And in the overseas section
There was this ad I read:

“If you like fish in Colaba
Getting caught in the rain
If you’re way into yoga
If you love crowded trains
If you’d like Bollywood at midnight
In the bars of Bandra
Then its Mumbai that you’ve looked for
Hop your nearest rickshaw.”

I didn’t think about the slum towns
I know that sounds kind of sad
But on Slumdog Millionaire
They didn’t seem all that bad
So I wrote to the agency
And sent in my resume
And though I’ll not get my hopes up
I thought that it really was ok:

“Yes I like fish in Colaba
And getting caught in the rain
I’m not much into boring food
I take my bhang lassis plain
I’ve got to hear the rockets every night
And bang the drums every day
Swatting cricket balls for sixes
Mumbai’s where I want to play.”

I could go on with the rest of the song, but I think I’ve used up my cheesiness quotient for the week. To get another look at life in Mumbai, check out the video below. This was made by Tony Pappa of Conceptually Speaking when he came to Mumbai to make a promotional movie for our school. It was posted on Facebook to rave reviews – Great stuff!

Free verse Friday – Alea and the stray dogs

Alea and the CSR catAlea’s class went to care for stray dogs
at a shelter in downtown Mumbai.
Kids fed them and cleaned them and petted them all
to help them they really did try.

But Alea is truly a Stutz kid at heart
the reason I know this is that:
in the middle of a barking stray dog home
she tracked down and played with a cat!

Free verse Friday – Important lessons from our time in Egypt

Kids with ice cream in EgyptThe Sphinx is real old
The pyramids too
The Nile’s the world’s biggest stream.
But better than antiques
The temples and backstreets:
We ate McDonald’s ice cream!

For a sample of our visit, I’ve posted a few pictures on Facebook. These will not replace the webpages to document the trip; they are better considered as appetizers…

Free verse Friday – Cairo’d away

The Stutzes have all gone to Egypt
We’ll get home tonight too whipped
To write poems unique
So wait ’til next week
This blog to be rhythmically equipped.

Free verse Friday – Good news/bad news

The kids are busy growing up
Its hard to realize that
Where once they played with dolls and balls
Now its games and skype-based chat.

Double digit ages loom
They once were far off goals:
“You can use an ow-ey knife then,
watch unedited Disney shows.”

But time moves on, and kids grow up
The thought that leaves me cold:
Because they are no longer young
It means we are getting old!

Sigh

Free verse Friday: Technology

In ancient times it was “the web”
it crawled at speeds so slow
a class website with webquest links
was as far as you could go.

But times have changed and now we’ve found
tech expectations grow
now its no longer good enough
a powerpoint to show.

A class must have a daily blog
among so many things
like social network buddy lists
and teacher-student nings.

Forget a course description?
just check out the school wiki
and if there are errors, we’ll sure fix ’em –
with Google docs, real quickly!

Can’t come to school? Just Skype or tweet
(coolspeak for using Twitter)
If you post your status on Facebook
no pictures ’til you’re better!

Laptop’s down? No internet?
Blackberry to the rescue.
No peace of mind, no extra time
Just check your email, won’t you?!

Jing, Wink, ALEKS, GoGo Frog
Schooldude, DyKnow, VC
Scratch and Atlas, Portal, Pivot
Please, please, please stop the insanity!

Free verse Friday – Dancing in the streets

Not just any kind of dancing – but the Big Dance kind of dancing. Dick Vitale screaming and spitting kind of dancing. Christian Laettner shooting for the win kind of dancing. Phi Slamma Jamma, Tark the Shark, undefeated Bobby Knight, and all the other old school high shorts wearing, plaid jacket bearing, folding chair throwing dancing.

Yeah baby – Let the games begin!

Louisville, NC, UConn, and Pitt
The number one teams in this year’s bracket
Who’s gonna dance in the next few weeks
And whose team’s destined for tears on their cheeks?

March Madness is here, the pools are all set
Seems everyone’s got a little money bet
The water cooler talk is about B-Ball
And when the number one seeds are going to fall

Cinderella stories and nail-biting games
Still something ’bout the season’s always the same:
The best of times – all the games to see
The worst of times – none on Indian TV*!

For what it is worth, my NCAA Bracket

*and for those that doubt me, here is what was on the ‘sports channels’ last night as the tournament got under way:

  • DD Sports: 2008 Olympic highlights (women’s long distance races)
  • ESPN: Sportcenter India (cricket highlights)
  • Extreme Sports: FAI World Cup of Artistic Events (skydiving!)
  • Neo Cricket: Dial C for Cricket (cricket)
  • Neo Sports: Italian Football (soccer highlights)
  • SS1: Rugby (rugby)
  • SS2: ICC Women’s Cricket (women’s cricket)
  • SS3 Premier Lead=gue World (soccer)
  • SS4: Chevrolet Warriors Cricket (cricket)
  • Star Cricket: Cricket Jukebox (cricket)
  • Star Sports: TNA Impact (fake wrestling)
  • Ten Sports: WWE: Raw (fake wrestling)
  • Zee Sports: DLF Women’s Golf (women’s golf)

Sigh.

Free verse Friday: Window view haiku

PigeonOur resident pigeons have been trying to incubate eggs outside our living room window. The first nest and eggs were swept up by our cleaning lady (and the eggs sent home with her son). She said baby birds make a lot of noise and stink, and didn’t know we were interested in watching them hatch and grow up.

The bird mother came right back (at least, I think it is the same one) and rebuilt a mini-nest. She’s been sitting on these eggs for about 2 weeks now. As the gestation time of pigeons is supposed to be around 3 weeks, we should be getting close. I worry about what will happen once the little ones come out, as there are tons of black crows all around who feast on garbage and anything else they can get ahold of, including pigeons.

In any case, we are happy that they are with us now and providing inspiration for this week’s poem, a haiku:

Pigeon window nest
Spring eggs hide near air con box
Bombay life

Free Verse Friday: Pig in a Sty

Breck and the PigOK, not really free verse, but more like “Poetry Friday.” Since that’s not really too alliterative, however, I’m taking creative license to change it. Thinking that we need a little shake up around here, we’ll be posting poems on Fridays to help ease us into the weekend.

The inaugural contribution comes from Breck, in the form of a limerick he wrote for class:

There once as a pig in a sty
Too happy to ever cry
‘Cause the oinking noise
He made with his voice
Was bright as the sun in the sky.

Text Message Thursday – World Ozone Day

I’ve not really found the urge to restart “Free Verse Friday” this school year – maybe it will come, maybe it won’t. I have been receiving a bunch of text messages lately, however, that have inspired my next theme.

Before the first one, however, I will have to give a shout out to my new favoritest webpage – Texts From Last Night. As to the contents of some of the texts contained on that site, I can only echo my father-in-law’s favorite expression of surprise: “Mercy!”

My “Text Message Thursday” posts won’t be quite as racy, but at least they will all be real. What I’ll put up are verbatim sms messages that we receive here in Bombay. All spelling and grammar will remain as in the original.

For the first message, today I received one celebrating today’s special holiday:

Today WORLD OZONE DAY.Save Earth from Suns deadly UV Rays due to depleting O3.UseO3 friendly AC, Refrigerator,aerosols

From Maharashtra Pluttion Control Board.

Watch out for that pluttion…

Festival of Nations 2009

What a colorful wonderful musical ending to our term: the annual Festival of Nations took place today at ASB. We spent the morning watching groups perform, and the afternoon marching around in our national costumes. Check out our webpage for complete coverage of this fun event!

We leave tonight for Cairo and the NESA Conference; we don’t anticipate blogging much, although there are a couple of  ‘scheduled’ Free Verse Friday poems already on the docket. See you in about 10 days!

Holiday Greetings 2011!

The Stutz family is very excited to be sending season’s greetings from a new part of the world (for us!).  After four fabulous and rewarding years at the American School of Bombay, it was time to move on and explore another part of the planet.  In mid-January, we accepted jobs in sunny Jakarta, Indonesia at the Jakarta International School.

It was harder than we expected saying good-bye to India and all our friends and colleagues at ASB; not one of us was dry-eyed boarding the plane in June.  A summer of family and travel brightened our spirits and prepared us for new adventures in Indonesia.

Breck and Alea with their walleyeWe started off the summer in our “new home” in Minnesota, and got right to the serious business of supporting the American economy. Perennial early highlights of our vacation include shopping in Target, chowing down at Denny’s, and playing trivia at Buffalo Wild Wings. This year was doubly special, as we also had the chance to get together for a lunch with Dave’s sister and family, who were in Minnesota visiting their family farm.

Susan’s parents celebrated 50 years of marriage this year, so all five families trooped off to Canada for a week of fishing, playing, laughter and love.  The phrase ‘double double’ still emerges in our home in reference to fabulous fishing: two people, two bites, two fish in the boat and then two minutes later… two people, two bites, two fish in the boat…

Breck and Alea at Devil's TowerLeaving Canada, Susan immediately flew to New York to attend a reading conference, so Dave and the kids took off through Canada to spend a week at the cabin in Rimini. They had an epic journey on the trans-Canadian highway across 4 provinces, and then swung down through Montana and back across to Minnesota. They went through 4 national parks & monuments (Glacier, Little Big Horn, Devil’s Tower, and Mount Rushmore), spent quality time with the Montana Stutz’s, and survived “roughing it” with each other in the very best of spirits.

End of July brought us to Jakarta and we have been busy settling in ever since.  At JIS CIL, Dave teaches 6th grade math and at JIS PEL Susan teaches 1st grade.  Alea is now in high school (with a campus that prepares her for any university in the USA!) while Breck rocks the 7th grade.   We have a lovely, old home in the suburb of Cilandak.  After years in a tiny apartment in Bombay, we are free and easy with single-floor living, a huge lawn and a pool!  We were welcomed to the house by rats who had taken up residence, so Dori and Linsea soon joined the Stutz family as honorary four-legged members.

Alea has adjusted well to high school.  She is taking Spanish III, Physical and Life Science, Asian Studies, Algebra and Geo II, English 9, Concert Band and PE.  She is actively involved in a Gerakan Kepedullian (ask her) service-learning club and LOVES her rock climbing every Monday after school.  She went to Monado for a week of service learning and planted trees at the base of a volcano and removed Crown of Thorns from a local reef.

Breck has Algebra, Science, Drama, PE, World Studies, English, French and Band.  He joined baseball, basketball, softball, and track and field (top 5 in long jump AND javelin at the meet – a huge accomplishment given the size of the schools competing!!).  He also joined an animal rights service club and is supporting the animal aid network where we got Linsea and Dori. Rumor has it he also landed a role in the Middle School drama production for 2nd semester!  Slowly but surely, both kids have made new friends among the 2,500 students here.

After adjusting to a new country, new city, new house, new school, new colleagues, and new friends, we thought we needed something familiar for October break, so we returned to Bali for a week of fun in the sun.  We spent 3 days in Ubud getting our fill of culture and then continued on to Pemuteran Bay so Dave could actually snorkel the scene given he couldn’t last time we were there (because of the infamous monkey attacks!).  We went to Mengangan Island reserve and had a fabulous day of snorkeling – we saw sea turtles, clown fish, jellyfish, hard and soft coral and…  a wonderful day!

December holiday fever has begun as we prepare to go on our first tour around our new host country.  We head off to the Gili Islands near Lombok on the 18th.  All four of us will get PADI open-water diving certified.  Wish us luck!  We’ll also spend a few days driving the interior around Gunung Rinjani, Lombok’s largest volcano.  We’ll fly back to Jakarta for the New Year and then go to Yogyakarta, the cultural capital of Java.  Our main plan there is to climb the temple ruins of Borobudur and Prambanan.

Dave’s Grandma, Mildred Robison Stutz, died just last month.  She had a long and wonderful life and we celebrate her memory as we head into the holidays.  She was a delightful part of many of our summer trips out West; we are fortunate to have had her in our lives as long as we did.  Dave’s brother, Rob Stutz, is running for Congress for the state of Montana.  Sisters Karla and Shari have helped run, manage, and negotiate an active campaign. We wish him all the best and firmly believe he is the best candidate for the great state of Montana!

We continue to be blessed as a family – we have so much for which to be thankful – and we are!  We send forth all our best wishes to family and friends for a safe, joyous, and wonderful holiday season and 2012.